Pools ClosED
by elejamie
Summary: This story is absolutely terrible, now that I've had a while to think about it. But, if you must know, it's about Ed, Eddy and Jonny "raiding" Kevin's pool in a still-has-more-research-than-Seltzerburg parody. You're more than welcome to read it, but I'd recommend getting something to help you unread it.


-1Pool's ClosED

Plot: Eddy gets an idea: Block Kevin's new pool. An EEnE version of the (infamous) Habbo raids.

It was Summer time. And Kevin had some builders round. "Just go through, the garden's straight ahead." he assured the builders. They went through and went to work.

Eddy was sleeping peacefully. His parents went off to work an hour ago, and Eddy was left alone. He didn't mind really. He was dreaming about jawbreakers, especially since he had his pancreas and other body parts back, including his hair. He was about to eat one when he heard the sound of drilling. He was so surprised, he literally hit the roof. He got into a dressing gown and leapt onto the fence. The drilling was so loud he had to wear earmuffs. And even his shouting couldn't get over the drilling.

When they stopped, Eddy was allowed to complain. "It's too loud it woke me up." He complained. The builders couldn't care less and carried on with their tea break. When they've finished, they went back to work. Coincidentally, Eddy was the only one who was woken by the loud noise. "Another goof?" Eddy was puzzled. "Surely Danny, you can do better."

"Sorry!" Danny apologised, and made everyone in the neighbourhood wake up. Except for Edd. Edd wasn't home, because he had to attend a meeting at the state Model UN, representing his ancestor's homeland, Israel. He was going to be out of the cul-de-sac for a week.

Then, a mass crowd, or as mass as 9, or 10 if you include Plank, stormed out of their houses and complained. And so, Danny muted Kevin's house, making everyone sleep peacefully.

The next day, it was ready. Kevin told everyone, except for Ed and Eddy, to come to his house. When everyone he invited came, he was excited, and next to a huge curtain. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls." He gave thumbs up to Danny, who had wrote what he was gonna say. "I am please to announce that I have got something to show you." He then opened the curtain and showed everyone what it was. A pool.

There was a huge round of applause, which, unsurprisingly, woke Eddy. However, this time, he was changed. He marched out, and went to Kevin's. "Dorky, get off my property!" Kevin picked Eddy up and threw him into the bins. And, to make things worse, the dustbin men came and tipped Eddy in with the rest of the garbage. Luckily, he managed to escape and get into the shower.

After putting on a clean set of clothes and sorting out his hair, he went straight to Ed's. He was in because he was sleeping. Dead to the world in fact. Then he was finally woken when Eddy shook him up. He was so surprised, he swung round and accidentally hit Eddy in the side of the face. And received a punch in the side of the head by Eddy.

"Hey Lumpy!" Eddy said. "Kevin's up to something, and we dunno what. So we need you to find out what it is. OK?"

Ed saluted and went to work. Only to be kicked out. By Rolf. Rubbing his head, he walked back to his house, and met Eddy. "Well?"

"I got kicked out. Rolf threw me out and I landed on my head."

"I bet no brain cells were hurt then." Eddy mocked, a la Blackadder.

And so throughout the day, they tried ways to get in:

1. They posed as new kids, but thanks to Ed's stupidity, they we're thrown out. He claimed they were brain sucking mutants from the planet England.

2. They posed as repairmen trying to check out their backyard. Their story didn't check out, and were thrown out.

3. Ed and Eddy learnt from the previous two tries. And so, they stole one of Edd's spy planes. They tried to take a photo of what was below them, but instead, they crashed into a tree. And then it exploded.

4. After dealing with a $50 fine, Eddy came up with one plan. He thought of kidnapping a kid, then attaching a bug to him. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anyone willing enough. So they aborted.

5. They tried to dig into Kevin's backyard, but they took a wrong turn and ended up in the Kanker trailer. Luckily they went back down the hole, but not before the Kankers had their way with the duo. Afterwards Eddy filled the hole with concrete.

6. Eddy tried the hole again. This time, he found Kevin's home. But before he can turn around, Kevin jumped on Eddy's head, causing him and Ed to fly back into the hole.

7. Ed came up with one idea. He got a potato gun and shot potatoes at everyone. Unfortunately, he missed and was thrown out by Rolf.

Then Eddy remembered something. In 2006, a group of people, dressed in afros and suits, blocked everywhere. That gave him an idea. "Hey Ed, listen up…" Eddy whispered in his ear, followed by a string of unintelligible whispers.

They managed to break into Edd's house, again, and find his cloning devices. They dragged it out of his house, waking Jonny. "Hey guys?" He did a hybrid of shouting and asking. "What are ya doing?"

Eddy covered Jonny's mouth "Shhh…" He whispered "We're trying to clone ourselves."

"OK." Jonny, surprisingly, whispered back. "Why?"

"We have a plan" Ed said. The camera zoomed in, and Eddy was waving it off. The camera zoomed out.

And so Ed, Eddy and Jonny dressed in suits, and put on afro wigs and stepped through the cloning machine. Then there were at least 50 clones of Ed, Eddy and Jonny.

The next morning, Kevin woke up and drew the curtain. Rubbing his eyes, he couldn't believe what he saw. He ran downstairs, and into the garden. "What are you doing?" He asked. Apparently, Ed and Eddy, found out that Kevin was hiding a pool

Then one of the Eddy clones went "Pool is closed because of AIDS". Then it escaped every clone's mouth, as well as the original copies. The whole cul-de-sac was woken by that. Then there were more cliché Habbo raider quotes, such as "Desu" and "Call for /b/lackup". Then 50 more clones came around, just to swatiget. This continued for the whole day.

"I'll give you money" Jimmy pleaded as he gave the real Eddy $100.

"Sorry." Eddy said. "We do not forgive. We do not forget."

"OK, OK. You can swim in me pool as much as you want!" Kevin told eddy.

"This is for being a bastard over the years!"

"ED!!" Sarah screamed. "Stop blocking or I'll tell mom."

All Ed clones ignored her and continued blocking.

"We must call for /b/lackup" said one of the Jonny clones.

"Pool has AIDS"

"DESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESU"

This carried on until later that day.

"Hey," Ed went. "Do you think we won?"

"Let's see…" Eddy was recapping over the events. "We cloned ourselves. After a while, the clones died, they found the real use, they beat us up, they called the police, and we've been locked up in Juvie." Eddy went to the bed and closed his eyes. "Do ya really call it a win?"

"But we did do it for the lulz, right?" Ed asked.

"No, Lumpy, we did it for revenge." Eddy reassured.

"But what happened to Jonny?" ed was curious.

Meanwhile, at a lumberjack store, Jonny was chased by mad Lumberjacks, who were also cross dressers. "Help me Plank!" Jonny screamed, his legs going like Sonic.

----------------------------------------The end---------------------------------------

A/N: Sulake, if you're reading this, don't ban me from Habbo. Or ask for this to be off the site and my account terminated. If you do, I'll rickroll you. And yes, I did make another mention to Monty Python (The first one was Dr. Chapman (named after the only dead Python: Graham Chapman), and the second one was the Lumberjack Song).

And yes, I'm sorry for the delay between this and last chapter of PDE. Buried under mounds of HWK.


End file.
